Friday, 8 November 2013


Walt: 1. write a narrative.
        2. use words to paint a picture.
        3. use senses.


That scent you get when the firework has blown. I was sniffing smoke all around One Tree Hill. It was Guy Fawkes night and woah!, wasn’t it crowded. I didn’t light any fireworks. To me, fireworks were over rated.

Bang! bang! Boom! Boom! those fireworks couldn’t stop mimicking each other. I thought that night was my last. I was so frightened, I decided to go back to my car. As I was running to hop back in my car, there was this loud firework that just went crazy. I dropped dead to my knees as the sound punched my left ear. I couldn’t see a single person when I arose. It was misty. Someone just started squealing as the big one shot. Everyone zoomed past me to see wh at was going on. I’m not that noisy so I carried on running to my car.

The scream got worser. It was like a parrot screeching in my ear. The fireworks suddenly stopped. I was so worried. I got out of the car and ran to the crowd. Nothing in sight so far, just people gossiping. I started standing on the edge of my toes. Blood mingled with the grass. My eyes biggered when I saw that hopeless child.

The ambulance arrived in a few seconds. It wasn’t my child, but I still shared tears. The police also came to shut the field down. The crowd began to disappear a few hours later. Then there was me. Just thinking what could have happened if that huge firework didn’t go off. I took nobody to blame. It was Guy Fawkes night so there will definitely be big fireworks. Duh!

I went home and ordered some pizza. The child was obviously in hospital for a while. I wished my hardest, that child should and will survive. I haven’t seen another incident like that ever again, I hope not too. The next year was even better because no children were found. I still don’t buy fireworks. I only went the year after and I haven’t been back.
The theme of this story is to be aware of what's going on and stay safe around fireworks.
Fixing up the choice of language.


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